Chapter 76

While I was a mortal sinner, I had an understanding of my faith. After years of following the scriptures, it was the only thing I held as close to law. The church was the one thing I knew where I stood. I'd made peace with it from a young age even after seeing the cruelty in the world. Because if I believed, my heart could accept how my mother rested in peace for eternity in a better place far from fear and pain.

I hadn't fully understood my devotion until Alessandra threatened my beliefs by disrespecting the church and our vow we would take under God in two days.

If it hadn't been for the peace the church offered me, I wouldn't have been able to walk alongside her. Or even taken a closer look at her red-rimmed eyes. How her sage green veiled in sadness, resignation.

I could work with hurt and hatred, but not with that.

The priest, too, saw the change in Alessandra. His gaze often shifted to her, waiting for her to speak her mind, her troubles. Alessandra didn't. She only smiled and shook her head at his questions as if she had nothing more to offer.

Her light and spirit had dimmed.

"Miss Alessandra." Father pulled her attention back to him. "Massimo."

"Father," we both said, and she softly smiled.

"Let's talk openly. If not in the house of God, where else?"

With her eyes low on the ground, her head inclined my way.

Was she questioning how open she could be? How much could she say?

I couldn't read her.

"Marriage in our church is more than a pretty ceremony and fleeting feelings," he began, and Alessandra turned to him. "It's a sacramental marriage. A lifelong commitment to each other. One that is only dissolved by death. A marriage between you both and God."

The priest's eyes bounced between us.

"Are you willing to continue with this knowledge?" he asked Alessandra.

I couldn't face her. I couldn't see the doubt in her face, the dread. But mostly, I couldn't face her after knowing the sin I'd committed by taking her free will. By taking on an agreement that meant a commitment until death.

Even then, there was no turning back. She was mine. My queen, my future wife.

"Yes, Father."

My body relaxed.

"You are entering and accepting this marriage, this vow without force or pressure?"

Bile rose as my skin crawled, and the longer Alessandra took to reply, the deeper I fell with worry. This was the place she held the most power. Then I felt her touch. Her fingertips slid over my forearms, gently trailing down until her hand curled with mine. I stared at our joined hands. My mother's ring on her delicate finger, the place it belonged.

I cast a look at her.

Alessandra's smile reached her gleaming eyes. Small tight lines formed at the ends of her brows as her teeth shone brightly. And with a glowing radiance, she said, "It's what I want, Father."

She didn't answer the question.

Want, what a dangerous word with endless meaning.

We could always want, even if it hurt. Even if we wished for a different outcome.

The priest carefully watched her. It didn't help that I sat quietly without a smile to match hers. I only looked ahead at the brick wall with a hammering heart.

"Massimo?" he asked.

"Without force or pressure," I replied.

The priest nodded and quickly moved back to Alessandra. Her hand twitched underneath mine as she couldn't flee from his attention.

I placed my free hand over hers, caging her between both of mine.

"And you both are willing to conceive children?"

We couldn't marry in the Catholic Church if we said no. Thankfully, I remember vividly our conversation about children. Three or more! Had been her words. Loud and ridden in pleasure.

"Yes," we echoed, and this time, our eyes met.

"Massimo, I would like to speak to Alessandra, alone."

I freed my hands and stood. Her eyes widened, but her false smile never faltered. I walked out of his office and closed my eyes against the stone wall, waiting for this to be over.

Today was a mind game.

From the moment she stood me up to the careful words she used.

I was spent.

Giuliani still ruled my mind, Alessandra reigned over my control, and the vow I would soon give to the church governed inside. The thoughts of her family arriving tomorrow also lingered, and while I hadn't offered them to stay under my roof. The threats were still here and scattered around the city.

There were so many moves, so many pieces, and I couldn't see the end.

The unknown was driving me mad. Insane with scenarios and countermoves, and yet Alessandra weakened my mind with her defiance and spirit.

She became the weakness I had tried so hard to divert.

The heavy door opened, and the priest smiled.

Hesitantly, I faced him. "Everything alright, Father?"

I waited for his words of advice and disappointment, but I received the opposite.

"Indeed, Alessandra is ready to wed. She even mentioned how she got to know you in the mountains." His brown eyes glowed with joy.

He'd fallen into her deceit.

I walked inside with a void in my chest, appalled by the father's content and Alessandra's docile aura.

I signed the marriage license he'd placed before us and didn't miss the way her hand trembled when the ink smeared her signature.

Our marriage would be sealed on Saturday after he would perform the ceremony.

The priest ended our meeting with a prayer, and as we walked from the back of the church to the front double doors, Alessandra stopped to take one last look at the ceiling before wrapping her hand around my arm. The deception of being strong and united in public.

The sky mirrored my troubled mind, and I opened the umbrella I'd left at the edge of the church. Alessandra's timid smile thanked me before she sneaked under the shelter I offered. I kept a close eye on the hoax she portrayed out in the open as her hands held the plastic envelope close and free from the rain. When I opened the back passenger door to the SUV, I stretched my palm for her to take.

After shutting the door, I glanced over at the second black-out Escalade and gave Beppe a nod as I crossed to the other side. I hopped inside the large SUV and ran my fingers over my dampened hair. I caught Yamal's eyes in the rearview mirror, and he immediately removed them to speed away from the church.

Alessandra looked out the window while her fingertips played against her thigh. The light cream-colored dress she wore contrasted her golden and smooth skin. Her makeup had been minimal, but she'd taken her time to conceal the puffy and dark areas under her eyelids.

She hadn't slept. That made two of us.

"You didn't have to lie," I said, glancing down at the envelope between our seats.

Alessandra didn't face me as she whispered, "I walk inside the house of God just like the sinner you are, but I don't lie on sacred ground. I spoke the truth."

"She got to really get to know you in the mountains." The priest just failed to realize how far off her statement was from good.

We remained silent for the rest of the ride, and while I trusted Yamal, I didn't want my personal life whispered on the streets. The more they believed the bastard I was even behind closed doors, the best it was for us.

Nightfall arrived as we pulled into my private street, and after weeks it seemed someone had finally heeded my threat and fixed the busted streetlights.

Somehow the simple sight of them running without a flicker eased my breathing.

"Wait."

My hand shot out when we arrived home and her body tensed under my touch. Stunned by her reaction, I pulled back.

Alessandra had cowered.

Dumbfounded, I stared at her delicate frame and lowered my gaze with no thought of how to proceed.

Yamal exited the car, and while it ran with the air at full blast, heat spread under my skin. My hand then had a mind of its own, and wrapped by the nape of her hair, until I made her face me.

"You are afraid of me now?"

Her eyes watched me carefully, and I caught her hand movement, creeping and slithering closer to her skirt slit.

Fuck.

I let her go, and her hand stopped.

My God, she was fucking with my head. I couldn't even tell if this was real, or a craft of her game. It was how far she'd swept my senses to the point that if this, us, right now was real, one of us might not make it out alive.

Me, I wouldn't make it out alive because I had vowed to protect her. Alessandra would slowly rot every cell in my brain until I couldn't think straight for our protection, and I would be the one filled with gunpowder.

I had to pull away and think straight. I was so close to ending this war, I couldn't let it crumble before my eyes.

"The rehearsal dinner has been canceled." I cleared my throat. "Instead, we will have a small dinner with our families tomorrow night." Disbelief shone in her irises. "Your family will stay here tomorrow and leave after the wedding."

Her cherry-stained lips parted, and her shoulders slumped with the news I had kept from her. I'd waited until the last moment to deliver them, knowing the impact of having her father sleeping under the same roof could mean to her. Hell, I didn't want that man in my home either, or one of her siblings. If anything, a private dinner with both our families called for chaos.

"How long have you known?" She cleared her raspy tone.

"A month."

"How long has Mrs. Carmine known?" Her voice died at the end.

"A month."

Alessandra's eyes widened as her brows creased, and she rubbed her chest as if I'd delivered a punch but didn't utter a word, a tone, or a whisper. Only her eyes offered her hatred.

She pulled the car door open quickly and stumbled out into the rain, and when the door bounced shut, I was alone with the silence and the havoc of my mind.

I should be going over the wedding security with Elio, checking all the boxes and guaranteeing no misunderstandings. I should be going over the arrival of Alessandra's family tomorrow, warning everyone to expect everything and nothing at all. Instead, I heard Elio talk circles while all my mind went over was Alessandra's simmering anger.

It was unsettling. She'd held on to a farce for so long, but now that anger cracked through, it wasn't long until her spirit would shatter and for her emotions to weep.

She was a high-heel ticking time bomb.

"Whatever you've done, fix it!" Nate roared as he slung the door open in my study.

Shocked by whatever caused the abrupt entrance and the anger aimed at me, I sat perplexed by his vicious rage. He didn't care who was inside or who he'd interrupted. Hell, he didn't even mind that it was me, who he raised his voice to.

Leonardo's eyes shot out and his upper lip curled while Elio smiled with crossed arms, patiently waiting for disaster.

"Careful, fratello." I seethed.

"I don't think so. I am done, brother." Long steps rushed toward me, but they stopped as I stood.

"You are done?" I questioned.

His jaw tightened. He knew he wasn't done until death.

"I am done watching how you slowly break her. If that's what you wanted, congrats, you've achieved it."