Chapter 42

But when she asked if I was working after lunch and I shook my head no, controlling hunger would be the toughest task as I saw her reaction of delight in her features.

Now I want them all gone.

I flicked my wrist, checked the time, and Vadim caught my polite way to say, "Get out".

"I can't eat anymore," he began. "Please tell your staff everything was perfect as always."

"Will do." I nodded.

Elio laughed. "If only you knew what it cost some of the sta-"

"Elio."

My tone stopped him, and he popped his spoon into his mouth with a dark smirk. He pulled it out with eyes that expressed his excitement and happiness to have his hands in an order he would enjoy, Alex.

Alessandra didn't say anything. Instead, she stared at Elio with disgust smeared on her lips.

"I need a word with you before I leave." Nate broke the tension.

"That's our time to head home." Vadim looked down at Davina and stood to help her out of her chair.

We all rose. Nate, Vadim, and Elio shook hands and patted one another while they gave Davina a hard time. Alessandra stayed by my side as I watched them say their goodbyes.

Vadim and Davina made their way to us, and Alessandra's hand slipped behind me and held onto the corner of my shirt, tugging it slightly.

I had learned Alessandra wasn't keen on farewells. Uncomfortable receiving hugs, affection, or even kindness. A feeling I too shared, as someone's touch aside from a handshake felt too personal and unwelcome, which was why my posture remained closed and cold to approach.

But she was a woman, expected to receive and give such warmth.

I crossed my arm behind her, hiding her tugging grip and keeping her body near.

"We should have a doggy date sometime. David loves Wix and Vine, and we can maybe have a glass of red while they play in the yard," Davina said, eager for female companionship.

She was lonely, it was clear. I had been keeping Vadim away for long hours, and he didn't want to risk her wandering outside with a full war on our streets. It was too risky.

Alessandra's hand stiffened, but she smiled back.

"I'm sure the boys will love that."

The boys. I smiled.

"Brat," Brother, Vadim said in Russian with a smile.

My smile fell, and I shook his hand. "Don't do anything stupid."

Vadim laughed, Davina shook her head at him, and he said, "What's the fun in that?"

"Davina."

"Massimo." She smiled with a nod and leaned closer to my brother before they began walking away. Nate followed them, and Elio trailed behind as we all made our way to the front door.

Once Vadim and Davina got into their car and drove away, Nate turned my way.

We were standing by the stone entry, sheltered from the sun's rays by the roof's large overhang, when he said, "You still have a minute?"

I glanced down at Alessandra and stepped away from her. Her hand fell, and her eyes turned impatient. Ready for the pleasantries to be over and relieved she could walk away.

"I'll let you men be." She smiled with a bright mask, but it turned sincere when she looked over at Nate. "It was nice seeing you."

"Likewise." His head dipped as he smiled.

Alessandra left us alone, and Elio leaned over the gritty material of the exterior wall with his arms crossed. If Nate had wanted to speak only to me, he would've come or contacted me when Elio wasn't around, but they always spoke freely around each other. We didn't keep anything from one another, not when it involved the Lombardi crime.

"How's Leonardo?"

"Peachy," I replied, thinking of the ill-tempered grump.

Elio coughed his laugh.

"Anyway, I'll be taking my vacation days in the department." This caught my attention. "I'll still be able to keep tabs and intel on my computer and such."

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked, appalled.

"No. In my opinion, you need me here more." I shook my head in disagreement. "I'm not asking, Massimo."

"You could be compromised." My voice raised with the absurdity of having Nate working on the streets.

He smirked. "I won't. Just hear me out." I lowered my gaze. "Massimo."

"Make it quick, Nate," I ushered through my teeth.

"Shipments will still arrive with no issues. I'll still be working but from home. My shit is untraceable, and with the possibility of Leandro Giuliani in our streets, and threats growing, I am becoming a liability to keep showing up in the department in a suit with the pay of a mafioso."

"Your money is offshore," Elio stated.

"The fact still remains, I'm not a secret within our syndicate." He shrugged. "But"

"What?" I asked impatiently.

"I've had a tail for two days." Fuck! "It's Giuliani's men. I found the recordings today and verified it myself." He took a deep breath and continued, "One day, I will be caught in a gunfire, and if I have my government-issued gun on me and shoot back at a known Mafia member that is in war and tied to the mess that is happening in Miami when I shouldn't be involved or targeted, I will be compromised."

"A vacation?" Elio murmured, his head already agreeing to our brother's safety and position.

"You need Dario and Yamal on the streets, and who do you trust most to keep her safe?"

Nate and I stared at each other.

Us. Him.

"Think about it. I'll be here, watching over the target, while I help from the inside. No delays, no waiting until I'm alone, or chasing my ass for a reply. I will have everything live and ready to see their movements without any setbacks."

It was a high risk.

"I risk more by showing up to my office with a tail. I'll end up in jail or dead in a month."

"Being here is a risk too."

Nate shrugged. "But it's the one I'm willing to take."

I watched him, and as I saw the possibility and the benefit of having Nate home, I hesitated. He was keeping something. He'd prepositioned this new change with too much thought, almost rehearsed.

"What are you not saying?" I asked, and Elio snapped his head at him as I continued, "I remember months back your mention of needing to keep a low profile. There were some new people around in your department sniffing. Is that it too?"

His jaw clenched, and my fingers numbed.

"Not in the way you are thinking."

Irritation slithered inside, constricting my muscles, knowing he was keeping me in the dark.

"Then explain." I seethed.

My brother hesitated, and I was troubled by it. How was this possible? What could make him hide anything from me? All I'd done was for them, for him!

His eyes lowered, and my chest caved as my heart raced, and I lost it.

"Fucking speak, Nate!"

Nate took a deep breath and looked at me again.

"I mean it when I say my main reason is to keep Alessandra safe, keep the family safe, and help away from the department."

"But?"

As I held on to the trembles of fury, tension dragged me forcefully.

"But it was more of one person who had given me a hard time and kept a close eye on me, which is why I've kept a low profile and had to distance myself. They have too much suspicion, but" He rubbed his neck, rolled and dropped his head. "Between getting to know my enemy and their weaknesses, I grew too close to her."

I took a moment to think through his admission. He kept this information to keep her safe and nothing more. He cared about this woman. Jesus, he slept with a fucking DEA agent, caught feelings, and now, she was at risk too.

"What's her name?"

"Don't ask me that."

"Does she know?"

"No."

I picked his answer and body apart for the truth.

"You said she had too much suspicion!"

It was one thing for people to talk, believe, and murmur about our affiliation. Others could swear by it, but we never admitted it. We didn't speak of the Mafia unless they were in our world. It was an enforced rule with no way to mend, specifically the law.

Cazzo!

"Suspicion is not knowing." Tiredly, his eyes looked away. "She stopped digging. She won't utter her thoughts out loud."

"How do you know this?"

"She has a daughter."

"My God, Nate." I stepped away from the door to him. "Not only did you bed a DEA agent, putting her life at risk, but a fucking child!"

"You won't kill a child." He shook his head, reassuring himself.

"But how many have we orphaned?" I yelled. I let go of control and rushed after him. He didn't even fight back. He only straightened as I grabbed his shirt, pushing his body up against the wall harshly. My voice was lowered in hatred. "How many have we left to suffer in the same orphanage as we grew up in? Huh? The one you wouldn't leave your baby brother behind in, even while you took the fucking beatings for him when I wasn't around? The same shit hole that robbed us of a future?"

"I fucking tried! Fuck did I try." His body gave, and his head lowered. Nate was in pain for what he'd done.

I let go of him and his body staggered, and his head fell onto my shoulder for a split second before he quickly lifted it.

"I love her and her daughter, so I left her."

I took a step away from his words.

"Does she hate you?" Elio asked, when he really meant, was she crazy enough to want to ruin your life?

"No. We both agreed it was for the best. She couldn't risk her position by having an intimate relationship with another agent. Our branch has ano-fraternizing policy. Right now is a good time for me to step away."

I ran my hand over my hair, my neck, my beard-I needed a drink.

"I don't want California to find out about them, and the more I help, the quicker the threat to everyone's safety will be over."

"There's nowhere to hide, and no one is ever safe in the Mafia, Nate. Or have you forgotten?"

"No, I haven't, but war brings a higher chance of casualties."

"Fine," I agreed. "Make sure you lose your tail in the morning." He nodded. "And I want her name. It is not a question."

His eyes flared as his mouth shut tightly.

"Aira," Nate uttered, looked at me one last time, and turned, leaving us behind.

I watched his back all the way until he stepped into his sports car. Even when his car left the property, I looked out at where he had once stood. Angry at my brother and the feeling he'd created. Betrayal. It was a similar experience when Vadim brought Davina to me, but this time it was different. Vadim had no idea who she was, who he was protecting, and who he had risked his life for. He wasn't even a made-man then.

Nate was. He knew what he was doing. Understood the risks and kept it from me.

Nate did it fully aware of his disloyalty to the famiglia, to me, and even then, continued for months.

I turned toward Elio.

He was just as perplexed as I was.

"It's Nate," Elio expressed as if I needed a reminder of who our brother was. It only deepened the wound as a wall solidified, hardening around me and what I had once believed I could trust.

Could I still trust him fully? Trust him to keep her emerald shining with life?

"That's the issue."